Occupation: Writer/performer.
Birthday: July 13, 1946.
Birthplace: Los Angeles.
Current home: Malibu, Calif.
Marital status: Married for 8 years to Patti Heid.
Children: Carmen, 13, Joey, 7, and Jasmine Rose, 5 months.
Car: A 1985 black Mercedes-Benz SEL.
Working on: ”Golden Palace,” on CBS-TV; my first children`s album, ”My Name Is Cheech, the School Bus Driver”; and starring in a movie I wrote called ”Angel of Oxnard.”
The last good movie I saw was: ”Mr. Saturday Night.”
I stay home to watch: News, sports and the Home Shopping Network.
The book I`ve been reading is: Elmore Leonard`s ”Get Shorty.”
Favorite pigout food: Linguine with clam sauce.
Favorite performer: Richard Pryor. He`s the funniest stand-up who ever lived.
Favorite childhood memory: Getting my first bike and trying to get on it. I was supposed to grow into it. I don`t know if I have yet.
Nobody knows I`m: Iranian.
I`m better than anyone else when it comes to: Dodging work.
If I could do it over, I`d: Do everything exactly same, except I wouldn`t see ”Husbands and Wives” again.
I want to teach my children: No matter what, keep trying, don`t get discouraged.
A really great evening to me is: Making dinner for the family and then making up games. We do it all the time.
My fantasy is: I`m on a tropical island, my family gathered around me and the heads of the three networks peeling grapes for me.
People who knew me in high school thought I was: Italian.
The worst time of my life: The two years I spend at Fox-TV. They drove me crazy.
If I couldn`t be a performer, I`d love to be: A teacher.
Major accomplishment: Being part of the American comedy history via Cheech and Chong.
My most humbling experience: Having to explain to network executives why something is funny.
Three words that best describe me: Funny, warm and wary.