”What on earth is going on in the Soviet Union?” I asked Sochek, my shoe repairman.
”The Soviet people have had it up to here,” Sochek said. ”Gorbachev knows this so he is hoping to change the system without toppling the entire party. One of the worst things is the corruption. No matter what is going on, someone always has his hand out demanding a bribe.”
”Can Gorbachev make a difference?”
”No, but they will print his picture in the newspapers showing him in a crowd, promising it.”
”Why did you leave Russia?” I asked.
”I was in charge of manufacturing shoes in Minsk. My responsibility was to get them made before winter set in. You have to know a lot of people to get shoes made in Russia. It was no fun, but I did it. I had only one major problem. I couldn`t get any heels for my shoes.
”So, I called the Lenin Rubber Heel Works in Pinsk. They said that they didn`t have any heels and told me I should call back in two years.
”How much will you take under the table for the heels you don`t have?”
I wanted to know. ”The manager told me, `Four hundred rubles a heel. If you don`t want them, the Smolensk Moccasin Cooperative will take all the heels they can get.` I paid him under the table for the rubber.”
”Where did you get the money to pay him?”
”Anyone in Minsk who wanted a pair of shoes had to pay me under the table.”
”Nobody could complain about that as long as they got their shoes.”
”That`s the problem,” Sochek said. ”They didn`t get the shoes. Some big shot in Moscow ordered that my shoes be sent to his brother-in-law in Kiev.”
”For which,” I wondered aloud, ”he was paid under the table?”
”This is why the system stinks. Even corruption doesn`t work in a Communist country. The bureaucrats are too corrupt to let it work. In a democratic society if you bribe somebody, he stays bribed.”
”Did you get into a lot of trouble because you couldn`t honor your contracts for the shoes?”
”The party chief in Minsk attacked me on local television for letting Marx and Engels down. He claimed that I was part of the Brezhnev era`s do-nothing managers, who deserved 20 years of hard labor in Finsk.”
”That sounds serious. What did you do?”
”Just what any loyal Soviet citizen would do. I bribed someone in the Ministry of Emigration to get me out of the country.”
”I`ll bet you didn`t mind paying that final bribe.”
”It wasn`t the last bribe. What makes you think that you can get on a Russian airliner for just the price of a ticket?”
”It sounds as if Gorbachev has his work cut out for him. In order to change the Communist system you have to change the people who are running the country. How do you get them out of office?”
Sochek`s eyes lit up. ”The only way is to bribe somebody else to do it.”
