On Saturday, 150 to 200 members of the Mellenbruch family will gather in Highland, Kan., to mark the 100th anniversary of their annual family reunion. To be sure, there have not been 100 reunions; World War II gasoline rationing meant a year was missed.
A Mellenbruch forebear, Henry Frederick, who lived with his wife, Mary, on a farm north of Fairview, Kan., started it all by writing to their nine children in 1897 asking that they establish an annual reunion. The widely scattered sixth generation is now involved.
Most families do not have such far-seeing ancestors; reunions are usually initiated after a funeral, when cousins decide they’d like to see each other in a more cheerful situation.
That happened in the Holmes family. Jesse N. Holmes, an actor in New York, said that when his grandfather Nestor passed on in 1971, six sons bore his coffin. When an aunt remarked, “That’s the last time you’ll see them all together,” the family decided to hold reunions. As one program puts it, they involve “celebrating, reminiscing and worshiping at the root of the tree,” honoring Patrick Holmes, who was a slave on a farm near Little Plymouth, Va., and who ran away and joined the Union Navy.
In 25 years, the family has met as far north as Rochester, and as far south as Atlanta, with Philadelphia a six-time choice. The usual attendance is 80. This year, the family looks toward New Orleans.
The Holmeses and the Mellenbruchs are among an estimated 200,000 families to hold reunions each year in the United States, almost always in the summer. Tom Ninkovich of Auberry, Calif., who has just issued the ninth printing of “Family Reunion Handbook,” which he and Barbara Brown wrote, says that reunions have been increasing in recent years and attract an average of 35 to 40 people. Edith Wagner, editor of the quarterly Reunions Magazine, says that responses on her Web site indicate that it is rising toward 50.
“Family Reunion Handbook” reports that the YMCA of the Rockies in Estes Park, Colo., may be the most popular family reunion site in the country. Dave Thomas, a spokesman, said that its two facilities, the Estes Park Center and the Snow Mountain Ranch, which include cabins that house 25 people and larger lodges, handle more than 650 reunions a year. Thomas said the organization accepted requests for any year but drew contracts only two years in advance; 1998 is pretty much sold out, he reported. Thomas said reunion bookings had doubled in the last 10 years.
As both the book and magazine make clear, reunion planning involves dozens of tasks, from tracking down the lost to picking a vegetarian menu alternative. A limited survey made by Dr. Margaret A. Persia of East Stroudsburg University of Pennsylvania indicates that a third of reunion organizers carry on year after year. But Wagner said the dropout level indicated burnout is a hazard. In the Mellenbruch and Holmes families, a business meeting is the closing event and the hosts for the next year are chosen. It is also a time to contribute a little money to finance mailings and to build college scholarships for family members.
Choosing where to have the reunion is the first step. If the family has roots where members still live, this is easy. Or the organizers may pick a locale close to them.
Research will show how complicated it is for everyone to get there: most people want to avoid making more than one airline connection for a reunion; letters to widely scattered family members should specify the nearest airport and the airlines that serve it. Urge prompt reservations with specific instructions to the agent or airline if adults and children must be seated together.
If the town has a convention and visitors bureau or chamber of commerce, you can ask for a list of hotels, bus companies, caterers and recreation spots. The Convention and Visitors Bureau of Philadelphia sends out a checklist for information on a dozen sorts of items, including walking tours on various themes.
In dealing with hotels and caterers, it is urgent to have a rough idea of the total number — and the smoking-nonsmoking balance — well in advance. The year my husband’s family met on Mt. Rainier in August, everything had to be ordered the year before.
Any seasonal place like a national park or festival area like the Berkshires requires early and dogged pursuit. A seasonal resort is going to drive a harder bargain than a downtown business hotel that may yearn for business on summer weekends.
If a first reunion is being planned belatedly, it is probably smart to try a business hotel. Hotels with health clubs, pools and meeting rooms may make a workable setting although outdoor activities essential for children may have to be shifted to a park. A test visit is worthwhile.
Some families hold reunions on cruises, both for the novelty and the extensive service. In 1990, two lines were looking for this business; now at least seven — Dolphin, Majesty, Regal, Premier, Royal Olympic, Costa and Holland America — have some special inducements to families: a 16th person cruises free, or champagne, or a family photo.
One family selected a particular cruise on the basis of children’s demands for a waterslide, but departure port and cuisine may be more important factors. If the reunion is to be a cruise, the organizer should contact a cruise-only travel agent early and start on essentials: cabins in the same area, tables together, a meeting room and the like. Families with wheelchair-users should be aware that there is a big difference between what cruise lines say is accessibility and the reality. The agent should be knowledgeable about this.
If a hotel or motel is selected and at least 10 rooms are needed, the initial call should be to the banquet or convention department. Usually every 10 paid-for rooms will bring a free bedroom, meeting room or hospitality suite. Veterans counsel against using a participant’s room or sitting room for meetings: People keep talking until all hours. The hotel will draft a contract on what is included. Hotels without kitchens may have caterers they use often.
Nonprofit organizations and schools also provide possibilities. The Mellenbruchs are gathering this month at a junior college. The Holmeses have used the Robert Moton Community House in Newport News, Va., a creation of the second president of Tuskegee.
“Family Reunion Handbook” costs $14.95 in bookstores. It may also be ordered from Reunion Research, 40609 Auberry Rd., Auberry, Calif. 93602; 209-855-2101, for $2.50 additional. It includes 20 pages of ads for businesses and localities seeking reunion business. Some, like the DeKalb Convention and Visitors Bureau near the Atlanta airport, offer kits with lists of facilities.
Reunions Magazine costs $24 for four issues and a workbook-catalog. The workbook alone is $10. Filling out a survey on the Web site, http://www.execpc.com/(tilde)reunions/, will bring a sample copy of the magazine, or it may be ordered for $2 from Reunions Magazine, P.O. Box 11727, Milwaukee, Wis. 53211-0727; 414-263-4567; fax 414-263-6331.
