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`Two and a Half Men’ doesn’t measure up

It is difficult to buy Jon Cryer as the brother of Charlie Sheen when we already have a pretty fixed idea of Sheen’s actual brother.

Not helping matters, in CBS’ new “Two and a Half Men” (8:30 p.m., WBBM-Ch. 2), is that Sheen is doing his usual not-really-acting thing familiar to those who saw him fail to fill in for Michael J. Fox in “Spin City.”

He’s playing a similar character here, a low-morality lothario who is another variation on the actor’s public persona. This time he’s a wealthy jingle writer whose just-dumped chiropractor brother (Cryer) moves in to disrupt his “Playboy After Dark” lifestyle, bringing the son whose name and age Uncle Charlie can’t recall.

Unclear is whether the “half” a man refers to the kid or to Sheen.

Given its time slot following “Everybody Loves Raymond” (which also debuts Monday, 8 p.m.) and solid pedigree (it comes in part from “Dharma & Greg” executive producer Chuck Lorre), it probably will get lots of audience sampling and network patience, and CBS will count it as a success at year’s end.

But despite the presence of such first-rate talent as Cryer and Holland Taylor (as the brothers’ mom), the series is uninspired.

There’s a sharp line here and there, but too many of the jokes arise from characters’ behavior contradicting the words they just uttered.

And every time the show starts to make you think it’s sort of OK, up pops the Sheen character’s sort-of stalker, a thrown-over lover who is simply not believable.

The rating for “Two and a Half Men”? One and a half stars.